*If you do not have time to read this entire blog, scroll down to the bottom for the too long, didn’t read (TL;DR) version of this post.
There comes a point in time when you realize you need to just stop, disconnect, and regroup. We all need to evaluate all aspects to our lives and think about what is good for our souls. Whatever that is to you, I say do it.
In my case, my soul was telling me to disconnect. Ha, you know, this should have happened the second I arrived home from the hospital. However, social media was the channel of communication I used with most people interested to hear about my progress. The problem is, on a daily basis, I would log on to Facebook, notice 5+ messages to read in my inbox, and an influx of notifications of which I could not keep track.
With all the time I have been spending individually speaking with a large number of people, I feel that I have regressed in my recovery. I do not mean to sound ungrateful for the amazing people who contact me regularly, because I am grateful! So grateful, actually. I just need a time to put 120% focus into my recovery, right now.
This week, I have been inundated with tasks. I attempted to start back at work, write thank you notes, keep up with many connections on Facebook, and make time for people to visit me. I learned this week that I am not super woman. Well, that isn’t true. I am a super woman… just an injured one at the moment.
No person truly understands the extent to which this injury has taken a toll on my mind, body, spirit, and family. There are exceptions to this, of course, but I believe you understand the point I am trying to make here.
After speaking with several nurses and doctors, it turns out that mentally this incident has taken its toll on me. Prior to coming home, I think that having nurses by my side on a minute to minute basis gave me the confidence I needed to know that everything would okay with my surgeons so close by, an IV providing me with necessary medicine, etc… etc. That confidence allowed me to push past the pain that was buried deep inside my mind and sleep soundly, work hard during physical therapy, and eat more than a piece of toast throughout the entire day.
Over the weekend, I had a minor setback due to my body rejecting the pain medication I have been on for approximately a month, now. I will spare you the gross details by saying that the medicine was causing significant side effects that my frail body could not handle at this time. Yesterday was the first day in a while that I actually had a decent appetite.
We have all been sick at some point in our lives. When you are sick, your body needs to heal. In my case, I need to heal BIG TIME. A lack of an appetite, no sleep, stress, and other unfortunate side effects are affecting my ability to fully heal in a timely manner. One of those in particular is my mental state. I am mentally at a point where I would consider myself “depressed.” I do not want to alarm anyone because I am seeking help and this is 100% normal, especially after such a traumatic experience. It is all new to me, though, which is why I feel the need to disconnect. Not to mention, I will have time to expand my mind with reading, exploration, and much more because of the time I will gain!
With an exception to occasionally checking my Twitter for sports updates, blogging about my road to recovery, and posting a photo here and there for inspiration on my Instagram, I am disconnecting. My mother will continue to share my blog posts on her Facebook, my Twitter account, and The Faithful Elephant Facebook page on my behalf. My family and friends are completely on board with disconnecting with all things that aren’t bringing me joy right now.
I am not abandoning any of you, though. I want EVERYONE to be updated with my progress. For me, writing on my blog is therapeutic. Why stop what is helping? I will continue to blog weekly (sometimes more based on progress). I am not opposed to an occasional text, email, or call, though!
The thing about Facebook is… it is a space where people feel the need to waste time bragging, showing off how wonderful their lives are, and thriving on the number of likes they receive on a status of photo. Facebook is not like that in my eyes. I used it merely to update those people who cared enough to check in on me periodically.
Plus, seeing so much negativity on social media regarding the horrible things happening in Baltimore, people prying into my relationships, and seeing friends having a blast while I sit miserable in a chair most the day isn’t what I need. More importantly, it is not healthy for me to see. So why fight it? I am disconnecting, predominately from Facebook.
Thank you all for understanding and supporting me during this time in my life. It encourages me to recover as quickly as possible. I love you all! Please keep following my blog for more updates each week.
*TL;DR: I will summarize by saying that the negativity on Facebook as encouraged me to take time for myself. I have deactivated my account until I feel ready to dive back into that world again (if ever). I will be posting on my blog and responding to emails when I have the time.