On a Friday, you will likely see an individual who exudes happier, carefree, and more upbeat feelings. Their aura is so positive that it could light up a room; figuratively speaking of course. Something can be said about the feelings that develop at the end of the work week. It is truly incredible how moods are transformed.
For me, every single day is a battle, but Friday and Saturday provide me the most peace of mind. Most weekends, if not all, I have unlimited options and some commitments I made ONLY if I wanted to. However, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday… those days are the hardest.
I enjoy my job. I enjoy my physical therapy sessions (because my therapists are so supportive and amazing). I enjoy my daily routine, for the most part. My issue is my fear of uncertainty. I’ve spoken about this once or twice before on the blog, but it is so complicated to describe human emotions. Not only is it a struggle to describe them, it can even be hard to identify what emotion I feel on a second to second basis.
Determining whether a feeling is anxiety, sadness, happiness, or even angst can be frustrating, especially if you have mixed feelings about a particular subject or situation. A person can love their job but hate the commute. You can love chocolate but hate the way it makes you feel afterwards. I wake up and go through a wave of emotions in a matter of minutes.
5:00 a.m. – Wake up irritated at the loud alarm.
5:10 a.m. – Attempt to crawl out of bed… still angry at the loud alarm.
5:12 a.m. – Meander my way to the bathroom, sad that I barely slept more than a few hours.
5:15 a.m. – Smile at how my hair managed to hold up despite the tossing and turning. What a happy surprise.
5:16 a.m. – Cringe at the fact I have to leave to sit in traffic for an hour and some change. I become disgusted with commuting.
5:20 a.m. – Stare at the refrigerator wondering if it will decide what you want to eat for lunch, trying hard not to punch it until it decides.
5:30 a.m. – Begin the process of walking towards the door with the sad eyes and a terrible feeling in my stomach.
5:32 a.m. – Sit in the car that is FREEZING COLD. UGH.
5:40 a.m. – The car is all warm and comfy and my playlist is on point. What a happy day.
In the first 40 minutes of every single day, I experience the most annoying set of emotions. I wish I could describe them better, but I cannot find the words. I read blog after blog after blog about how I can improve this feeling. I am a generally upbeat person, but mastering my thoughts is not my strong suit.
I have discussed anxiety and tips for overcoming it. The struggle with this is that it takes SO much work to truly overcome anxiety, emotions, and more. Some people make it look easy others are visibly struggling. I like to think I make it look easy. To be a master of our own thoughts is a job in and of itself. Add the many other elements to life that impact our thoughts regularly and you have a full-time job, 24/7.
This blog is a reminder to those of you who make mastering your thoughts look easy. It is a reminder to those of you who visibly struggle at this task. This is also a reminder to the outsiders looking in at those of us who either make it look easy or struggle… Mastering your thoughts is ROUGH. Try as we might, but sometimes it just stinks.
Be respectful of those who are working to become mentally, physically, and spiritually empowered. We do not know what another person is battling at home, in school, or even inside their own heads. Let us all work together to master our thoughts by harnessing our opinions and focusing on ourselves.