Destination Wedding Series: Honeymooners

I may be jumping the gun a bit by discussing honeymoons, but there are no rules to writing. Mwhahaha!

Okay, in all seriousness, I am discussing honeymoons before the wedding has even happened because you and your partner should be on the same page regarding this topic. One of the first discussions David and I had was whether or not we wanted to honeymoon. Although our wedding is taking place in Hawaii (a popular honeymoon destination), it is not our honeymoon. We will be visiting his family, spending time together before we are married, and then, once the wedding is over, we go home.

Recently, I have spoken with several married couples who have expressed their concern towards other couples who are not able to honeymoon immediately following their “I dos.” I agree and disagree with the concern; however, as you all know by now, my motto is: to each his/her own. There are no real rules in how two people choose to commit themselves to one another, but I am curious to hear each side of the honeymooners battle.

To honeymoon…. or not to honeymoon? That is the question (sort of). I actually would like to try and answer the question, “When should my partner and I honeymoon?” Let’s boogie on with it then, shall we?

If we go by the books, and by books I mean tradition, most couples go on their honeymoon immediately after the reception. Although this seems like a fairy tale moment, is it really realistic? Think about it this way: If you are a bride and you want your husband to rent a tux, he is going to have to return that tux… THE NEXT DAY. No, this is not a drill. This is serious business. My brother had to return his tux to Men’s Wearhouse the day after his wedding. What a buzzkill. Unless you expect to find the tuxedo rental business of your choosing at your honeymoon location, you may want to at least delay your trip a few days.

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I hate to throw another con at going on a honeymoon immediately following your wedding (even if it is a few days after), but consider your family, too. I know… I know… they should understand. But, if you have family visiting from Alaska or somewhere far, you will want to spend time with them while you can. If not, maybe you should reevaluate your priorities. Family first. Duh. (Just kidding… do what you want.)

The plus side to honeymooning fresh after your “I Dos” is that you get quality time together before going back to your (most likely) mundane routines. If you are like David and me, our routines can become monotonous. We wake up, go to work, come home, eat, snuggle up on the couch, and watch our favorite shows. Mundane or not, it is all we can afford at the moment. We are happy as ever and that is all that should matter. I personally like to eat food, watch Netflix, and snuggle with the dog. I think you get what I mean, though, when I say you have time to truly enjoy yourselves and have a rapturous time together before heading back to bills, work, and other not so wonderful aspects to life.

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As a couple who has chosen the destination wedding route, most people assume our destination will be our honeymoon as well. Typically, I would agree with this statement. In our case, though, it is not our honeymoon. Our trip begins a little over a week before our wedding day. I am almost certain that most of those days will be packed with checking off items on the last minute wedding to do list. Following the wedding, we really only have about two full days as a married couple. We are not capable of staying another week in Hawaii, otherwise I would consider it to be our honeymoon.

In many cases, couples wait several months to celebrate their marriage with a honeymoon. I am team “wait for it” because it allows us time to save up for our dream trip. Don’t get me wrong, going away for a long weekend to Myrtle Beach or Florida would be nice, but it isn’t my idea of a honeymoon. Like I stated right off the bat… you and your partner should have a similar idea of how you want to spend your honeymoon. For David and me, it is a trip to Europe, particularly Italy.

It stinks that we cannot start off our marriage with a honeymoon to Italy, but we will be married…. that is excitement enough!!! Hmm, as I re-read what I have written thus far, I feel that I may be coming off a little snotty or ungrateful. Let me squash that right now by explaining exactly how I feel. We are SUPER fortunate that we have family who is helping us throw together a dream wedding in Hawaii. If it wasn’t for David’s sister being a wedding planner there, we would not say “I do” in Honolulu. Honestly, we would have just gone on a trip to a random destination on our list together and gotten married there. We are so happy to have the connections we do, and are, in no way, ungrateful for our trip/wedding in April.

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Ideally, I would have the luxury of traveling from city to city with zero bills or graduate school work on the mind. Given that my life isn’t a Nicholas Sparks novel, I totally and completely understand why we are not honeymooning in Italy right after we say, “I do.” Either way, I wouldn’t want to immediately after the wedding. Why? Well, for me, I need to decompress on my couch after a long 10 months of prepping for the big day. Some may say the honeymoon is your time to decompress, I say it sounds like an added stress. Traveling is stressful. Don’t deny it.

This brings me to my final point about the “wait for it” honeymooners. Why not celebrate your one year anniversary on the honeymoon you dreamed about together? Or, celebrate 6 months of being legally a couple! Doesn’t that seem like a blast? You will feel so euphoric immediately following the wedding, you won’t even need a honeymoon until later.

I am certain that answers the question of “When should we go on a honeymoon?” Do it later. Or don’t. It is totally up to you and your person. If it were me though, I’d wait. 😉

One thought on “Destination Wedding Series: Honeymooners

  1. I’m in the same boat as you – we spent the whole week before with family and friends, off work, just enjoying each others’ company. Plus we spent 5k on the wedding itself… who has the money to then go on a honeymoon trip for another week?! NOT ME. As sad as I was for not being able to jet off somewhere, it was smarter for Ben and I to save up our money for all the other expenses that come with being married. We are planning on a long weekend trip for our 1 year anniversary, and while it’s not a week-long trip to Italy, it will still be special. Traditions are very different now than they were for our parents and grandparents!

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