Wedding Tips & Etiquette

wedding tips

Saturday (June 25) was the final day of the Clymer wedding celebrations. As many of you know from my wedding series on the blog, David and I were married in Hawaii on April 29. Obviously, we understood that not every person was able to make the trip to Oahu for a wedding celebration. Given that, we decided to throw a party in Maryland for those who were unable to join us at our special destination.

The Office Wedding
Photo Credit: Giphy.com

Some couples who choose a destination wedding prefer to give their family and friends two options for celebrating. In our case, we wanted to celebrate with as many people as we could. Thankfully, a larger than expected group did join us in Hawaii, so we were incredibly blessed. A second celebration back home was a must, even if we had a big group travel with us! David and I chose to throw a casual, “I Do BBQ” in a park near our home town. The park was right on the river, which was another must for us. (We love water… can you tell?)

David and I are SO fortunate to be surrounded by the most loving family and friends. Our parents, siblings, and wedding party stepped up and made this day just as special as April 29. To keep this event casual and fun, we went with a picnic/BBQ theme with lawn games, drinks, and lots of love from everyone. We learned a lot from our wedding experiences in the past year, so I wanted to share some wedding rules/etiquette that I learned with you all!

*These rules are in no particular order and are, in no way, mandatory. Remember, you are in charge of your own wedding. If you want to change the rules… I say do it! The wedding etiquette I learned/researched below were preferred by David and me. Again, you have the luxury of designing your own wedding the way you and your future person desire.

For the wedding guest:

  1. RSVP!!! This one is huge. I totally understand that, especially for destination weddings, sending a RSVP can be tough. Schedules change all the time and most people are hip to that. However, if you cannot make a 100% commitment (with an exception to unexpected plan changes like illness or a death in the family), just state your regrets. If more than one person in your household was invited to an event, make sure you tell them. One of our wedding guests sent in their RSVP without consulting their household. I was embarrassed when a member of that household asked me why they never received a wedding invite. It was awkward for me to say, “Uh… you did receive one. *Name* sent in the RSVP saying your household could not attend.” One more thing about sending in an RSVP…. do it for every event. If you are invited to the bridal shower, let the hosts know if you can make it. Just showing up (or not showing up without contacting the hosts) is rude and completely unacceptable.

    RSVP
    Photo Credit: Giphy.com
  2. DO NOT contact the bride (sometimes not even the groom) on the day of the wedding. Listen, the bride and groom are most likely the best people to go to with wedding questions, I get that. The thing is… they are busy. Any questions you may have should be brought to the parents or even better, the wedding party. For our wedding, I provided a contact list for guests. It said, “Call anyone BUT THE BRIDE!” David was listed on there because he was comfortable taking calls throughout the day. I couldn’t tell you where my phone was on the day of the wedding. When I needed to talk to David, I borrowed my sister’s phone or my mom’s phone. I had many texts to read the night of the wedding from friends and family wishing me well, but I wished those were emails or Facebook messages. Personally, I wanted to stay off my phone as much as possible the weekend of the wedding. I still have unanswered texts in my phone from the day of the wedding. I was too busy and the time difference totally threw me off.
  3. “Unplug” your electronic devices. We did not have many guests who abused their phones during our wedding, but I have been to weddings where people were more interested in watching the wedding through their phone’s screen than their actual eyes. Put down your phone and enjoy the moment. I promise that the bride and groom will share images later. Live in the moment.
  4. Sharing photos is lovely… but, make sure the bride and groom give you the okay. We welcomed photo sharing! It was something we encouraged actually. Like the third rule listed states, though, enjoy the moment. Snapping photos is quick and easy, but the bride and groom may want to share photos from their special day online before anyone else. Ask them a few days before the wedding what they prefer if they did not clearly state their wishes ahead of time.
  5. Don’t wear white. I shouldn’t have to explain this. Don’t be Kelly Kapoor in the office as a guest at Phyllis and Bob Vance’s wedding. However, if you discuss with the Bride prior and she gives the approval… go for it.
    Kelly Kapoor
    Photo Credit: Reddit.com


    For the happy couple:

  1. Don’t stress on the big day! I know… easier said than done. But seriously, what’s done is done. If something doesn’t go as planned, what can you do? Remember why you are getting married! For the love, not the party.
  2. Take mental snapshots. Many people told me this and I knew it was something that I couldn’t forget. I stepped back several times throughout the day and just took it all in. Something so simple… and it is the best advice I can share.

    the office wedding
    Photo Credit: Giphy.com
  3. Tip your wedding vendors. This is one that I didn’t understand, but apparently it is a thing. Why should I tip a vendor I paid for to do their job lol? I kind of still don’t understand to be honest. It is important and falls under “wedding etiquette.” According to Brides.com, tipping is “supposed to be expressions of thanks for especially good service.” That said, check out the article to learn more about tipping.
  4. Choose vendors you adore! If you have a family connection, but the vendor isn’t reliable, friendly, or the person you envisioned… say no. It is YOUR day. I know budget is important. That is a given. Don’t settle, though. David and I made this mistake, unfortunately. The good thing is… a hiccup in Hawaii isn’t really a hiccup at all. I’d rather a few stressful/bad moments in paradise than back home lol!

    Rejection
    Photo Credit: Giphy.com
  5. Destination wedding? Prepare for rejection. Obvious, yeah… sure. There are several guests David and I were certain would attend our big day. Unfortunately, they sent their regrets. Totally okay and understandable! Just be ready for rejection, especially if the destination is far. The group that joined us in Hawaii was better than we could have ever imagined. I wouldn’t change a single thing about that. If people do not join you, do not get upset. Choosing to throw a second party back home can help put your mind at ease when dealing with the guest list.

Okay, that is enough for today. I could write tip after tip if I had the time (and the space). If you haven’t checked out the podcast David and I did about our destination wedding, check it out. We chat about our experience in a bit more detail. Happy wedding planning, everyone!

Completely unwarranted life lesson from a married woman #10: Make wedding decisions together! This is a day to celebrate you and your person. If he/she does not express interest in a particular aspect to the wedding, find one they will enjoy!

wedding
Photo Credit: Giphy.com

5 Tips for the Newly Married Woman

Newlyweds

David and I are coming up on the one month mark rapidly. It feels like it has been years since we were married, but it really hasn’t even been thirty days! I suppose that is a good thing, right?

I have been taking notes in my phone of advice I want to share with my readers since the day after our wedding. I have about twenty tips I have made note of so far, however, five stand out to me at this point in time. The first few weeks of marriage are the most euphoric and exciting, meaning the advice is happy, genuine, and yet, constructive.

These five tips can be utilized at any point in a marriage (in my opinion), but coming from a newly married woman, it may serve as a reminder to the couple who have been married for a while or the engaged couple interested to see what marriage will be like from another couple’s perspective. No matter who you are, I hope you find these tips interesting, helpful, or at least fun to read!

Friday F Day
Photo Credit: Giphy.com
  1. Schedule a “date” at least one day out of the week. Now, I have blogged about this in the past (not too long ago actually). David and I were slacking in this department prior to the big day. More recently, we have taken the time to actually sit down and go on a “date.” Back in March, David and I took the Friday F Day Challenge. Although we did not update our dates specifically on the website, we did take the time to go on our dates. I highly recommend making this a routine, especially now. If you get in the habit of making time for each other now, you will find it is easier to include it in your future schedules. If you need ideas or to be held accountable, I suggest checking out Friday F Day. This website is wonderful. Check out my previous blog about the website and get started making your date nights even more fun!
  2. Being together is wonderful, but having time to yourself is too! As a married couple, you do not necessarily have to be attached at the hip. Spending time together should be frequent and enjoyable, but it does not need to be every moment of every single day. Do not mistake your time apart while at work as personal time either. Allow yourself at least an hour (or more) a day to unwind and be with yourself. During my alone time, I like to blog, read articles, watch my favorite YouTube stars, and watch Netflix shows that I know David hates. David likes to play games on his phone or PS4, play with the dog, or ready articles online. Time to ourselves allows us to appreciate the time we spend together.

    Cooking
    Photo Credit: Giphy.com
  3. Try cooking dinner together. David and I love to cook dinner together. We do not do it every night, but we do it often. It is fun to work together and I find that we enjoy our meal more when we cook together. Don’t just count this as a date night to get it over with… unless you make it known that you are making it your Friday F Day! 😉
  4. Learn each other’s love language. This is another tip that I recommend for any couple, not just married ones. The thing about love is, we all love differently. For example, my primary love languages are acts of service and physical touch. That means I respond well to my partner doing things for me. I cannot stand laziness and broken commitments. For personal touch, nothing makes me happier than when David just puts his arm around me, holds my hand, or expresses any form of physical presence when together. Learn your partner’s love languages so you can keep each other happy!

    Love Languages
    Photo Credit: Giphy.com
  5. COMMUNICATE! I saved the best for last (duh). Communication is imperative and key to a solid relationship. This tip goes for ALL forms of relationships. Communicate with friends, co-workers, family, and your partner. Never assume a person knows what you mean, because that is when arguments happen! Communicate on a regular basis.

Do you have some tips to add to my list? These are the top five that have proven to be impactful in my relationship, but what about you and your partner? Let me know your thoughts!

Completely unwarranted life lesson from a married woman #4: Prioritize your relationship with your partner. Spending time together can be as simple as sharing a cup of coffee or more in depth like planning a weekend getaway. Plan that Friday F Day (or whatever day of the week you two prefer)! 

Date Night
Photo Credit: Giphy.com

Kaleidoscopic Ramblings – Episode 2

Happy Sunday! Today, David and I sat down to chat about some tips for those interested in having a destination wedding, as well as our thoughts on marriage so far. It may be early, but we wanted to update every so often with our experiences and thoughts on the topic.

In our discussion, we play a short round of the Newlywed Game, share what we believe we could improve upon in the future, and how the wedding being completed relieved a lot of our stress!

Check it out and let us know what you think. I will be recording another episode as soon as possible! 🙂

Today’s unwarranted life lesson from a married woman: Never leave the kitchen without asking your significant other if he/she wants something instead of coming back empty handed. 

Stay tuned for more from Kaleidoscopic Ramblings. Happy Listening!

Hawaii Footage

Below is some footage from our trip to Hawaii! We had an incredible time and cannot wait to visit the great state again. This is only some of the footage we took while on our trip. The remaining footage will be used for personal montages to be shared with just our family and friends.

Today’s “life lesson” from a married woman is to always make sure you consider the amount of time it will take to make a video… skipping lunch to complete the task is not good for your mood. Do not take your hangry attitude out on your loving significant other. Unless, of course, they deserve it. 😉

Songs played in the video:
Good Cry – J Boog
Shark in the Water – VV Btown
My Audio – J Boog

Touchdown – Garrett Douglas
No Other Love – Common Kings

Wedding Stationary

I am back and officially a MARRIED woman! What an amazing feeling to be married.

David and I are currently working on a podcast to discuss the wedding and married life, so for now, I thought it was time to share our wedding stationary with you all!

For our wedding, stationary was low on the list of “must haves.” We really cared more about photography and food (go figure). I was going to create invitations on my own until I discovered Fiverr. I spoke about this in more detail on a previous post, which you can access by clicking here.

Since I already went into detail about why I chose the stationary I did… I think it is time to just show you what we chose. The first photo you see is our save the dates. Since we chose to get married in Hawaii, we wanted to stick with elements that screamed Hawaii. Our wedding colors were yellow and grey, so our save the dates focused on that.

ClymerWedding-SaveTD

Next is our wedding invitations and RSVP cards. Oh goodness do I love these wedding invites. They are so perfect and fit our personalities to the T!

KristinbeeFiverrInvitationRV2.KristinbeeFiverrRSVPFrontRV2

Finally, we have our wedding programs. These wedding programs are everything I wanted them to be… AND MORE. If these programs do not say “David and Kristin,” I don’t know what will.

Kristinbee__Fiverr__Program__RV6B

In total, we spent less than $200 on all of our stationary. I bet you wouldn’t have guessed that from looking at them, huh? 😉

Thanks for continuing to follow me on my destination wedding journey. Stay tuned for more tips, opinions, and photos from our big day! Aloha!

Going Off The Grid

Hawaii
Photo Credit: Giphy.com

Ten days until David and I are off to Hawaii to be married… TEN DAYS! I can hardly believe that this time last year, I was told my trip to Australia was cancelled because of my surgeries. I am blessed to be alive and packing for a trip to Hawaii for a destination wedding with the love of my life.

I wanted to take this time to inform you all that while in Hawaii, I will be “going off the grid.” I may post a picture here and there, but for the majority of the time, I will be avoiding the internet. We would like to decompress, relax, and spend time with family and friends.

With that being said, I will not be blogging or super interactive on social media. We will not be gone for too long, though! I appreciate all of you following me and being patient with me during this busy, but wonderful, time in my life. Your likes, comments, and views do not go unnoticed, EVER! So, thank you!

I will be back in May for more blogging, podcasts, and fun! 🙂 Have a wonderful April and chat with you all soon!

xoxo,

KB (soon-to-be KC)

Friday F Day Challenge

Reading the title, I bet you all think I am out of it. First, it isn’t Friday… and second, what in the world is “F Day?” All will be revealed shortly!!

One of my favorite YouTubers is ItsJudysTime. I learned how to apply makeup thanks to that amazing woman. After her makeup tutorials, I decided to check out her vlogs on ItsJudysLife. I fell in love with the family years ago and haven’t turned back since. I try to catch their vlogs daily, but lately I have only had an opportunity to check them out every so often. Today, I stumbled upon their blog from last Friday and learned about a challenge called “Friday F Day.”

hailey
Photo Credit: Giphy.com

What is Friday F Day? It is a challenge for married couples. I know that David and I aren’t married just yet, but that does not mean we cannot participate. I mean, we will be married in less than two months, so what’s the big deal? There is no big deal, so we decided to go for it!

Friday F Day’s website describes the challenge as this, “Strong, healthy, committed marriages strengthen families, neighborhoods, communities, cities, states, nations and cultures. Your marriage counts! Protect it by going on weekly dates with your spouse that end in bed.” You may be wondering why David and I need to strengthen a marriage that hasn’t technically even started yet. We aren’t necessarily in need of strengthening, but adding strength to an already strong relationship is never a bad thing. Plus, with such busy schedules (especially leading up to the wedding), we believe it is a fantastic idea to make time for each other outside of the apartment.

Our dates can consist of almost anything. It can be a walk around the apartment complex, a shopping trip, or even a visit to the monuments in DC. The goal is to spend quality time together without allowing everyday stress to consumer our thoughts. What I love about this challenge is that the website will send you reminders of when your date is scheduled, talking points, and ideas to make the date perfect.

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Photo Credit: Giphy.com

Some weekends may be more elaborate than others, but that is totally okay. For example, this weekend, David and I will be taking a cooking class together. Exciting, right? (Shout out to K.Hobbs for the bday present. You rock!) Next weekend will probably be a hike or something that requires ZERO dollars spent. With the wedding so close, our budget is tighter than spandex on an elephant.

The important thing to remember in all of this is that there should be no excuses. Spending quality time with your significant other is imperative if you plan to make a relationship thrive and grow. We want to start our marriage off on the right foot. For us, that includes good communication, frequent quality time, and having a relationship with God. (Church dates should not count as your Friday F Day date, by the way lol!)

If you want to join the challenge with David and me… click here! Comment below and tell us your date ideas. I plan to blog about our weekly dates and inspire you all to cherish every moment you spend with the love of your life. Happy Wednesday!

date1
Photo Credit: Giphy.com

Destination Wedding Series: Honeymooners

I may be jumping the gun a bit by discussing honeymoons, but there are no rules to writing. Mwhahaha!

Okay, in all seriousness, I am discussing honeymoons before the wedding has even happened because you and your partner should be on the same page regarding this topic. One of the first discussions David and I had was whether or not we wanted to honeymoon. Although our wedding is taking place in Hawaii (a popular honeymoon destination), it is not our honeymoon. We will be visiting his family, spending time together before we are married, and then, once the wedding is over, we go home.

Recently, I have spoken with several married couples who have expressed their concern towards other couples who are not able to honeymoon immediately following their “I dos.” I agree and disagree with the concern; however, as you all know by now, my motto is: to each his/her own. There are no real rules in how two people choose to commit themselves to one another, but I am curious to hear each side of the honeymooners battle.

To honeymoon…. or not to honeymoon? That is the question (sort of). I actually would like to try and answer the question, “When should my partner and I honeymoon?” Let’s boogie on with it then, shall we?

If we go by the books, and by books I mean tradition, most couples go on their honeymoon immediately after the reception. Although this seems like a fairy tale moment, is it really realistic? Think about it this way: If you are a bride and you want your husband to rent a tux, he is going to have to return that tux… THE NEXT DAY. No, this is not a drill. This is serious business. My brother had to return his tux to Men’s Wearhouse the day after his wedding. What a buzzkill. Unless you expect to find the tuxedo rental business of your choosing at your honeymoon location, you may want to at least delay your trip a few days.

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Photo Credit: Giphy.com

I hate to throw another con at going on a honeymoon immediately following your wedding (even if it is a few days after), but consider your family, too. I know… I know… they should understand. But, if you have family visiting from Alaska or somewhere far, you will want to spend time with them while you can. If not, maybe you should reevaluate your priorities. Family first. Duh. (Just kidding… do what you want.)

The plus side to honeymooning fresh after your “I Dos” is that you get quality time together before going back to your (most likely) mundane routines. If you are like David and me, our routines can become monotonous. We wake up, go to work, come home, eat, snuggle up on the couch, and watch our favorite shows. Mundane or not, it is all we can afford at the moment. We are happy as ever and that is all that should matter. I personally like to eat food, watch Netflix, and snuggle with the dog. I think you get what I mean, though, when I say you have time to truly enjoy yourselves and have a rapturous time together before heading back to bills, work, and other not so wonderful aspects to life.

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Photo Credit: Giphy.com

As a couple who has chosen the destination wedding route, most people assume our destination will be our honeymoon as well. Typically, I would agree with this statement. In our case, though, it is not our honeymoon. Our trip begins a little over a week before our wedding day. I am almost certain that most of those days will be packed with checking off items on the last minute wedding to do list. Following the wedding, we really only have about two full days as a married couple. We are not capable of staying another week in Hawaii, otherwise I would consider it to be our honeymoon.

In many cases, couples wait several months to celebrate their marriage with a honeymoon. I am team “wait for it” because it allows us time to save up for our dream trip. Don’t get me wrong, going away for a long weekend to Myrtle Beach or Florida would be nice, but it isn’t my idea of a honeymoon. Like I stated right off the bat… you and your partner should have a similar idea of how you want to spend your honeymoon. For David and me, it is a trip to Europe, particularly Italy.

It stinks that we cannot start off our marriage with a honeymoon to Italy, but we will be married…. that is excitement enough!!! Hmm, as I re-read what I have written thus far, I feel that I may be coming off a little snotty or ungrateful. Let me squash that right now by explaining exactly how I feel. We are SUPER fortunate that we have family who is helping us throw together a dream wedding in Hawaii. If it wasn’t for David’s sister being a wedding planner there, we would not say “I do” in Honolulu. Honestly, we would have just gone on a trip to a random destination on our list together and gotten married there. We are so happy to have the connections we do, and are, in no way, ungrateful for our trip/wedding in April.

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Photo Credit: Giphy.com

Ideally, I would have the luxury of traveling from city to city with zero bills or graduate school work on the mind. Given that my life isn’t a Nicholas Sparks novel, I totally and completely understand why we are not honeymooning in Italy right after we say, “I do.” Either way, I wouldn’t want to immediately after the wedding. Why? Well, for me, I need to decompress on my couch after a long 10 months of prepping for the big day. Some may say the honeymoon is your time to decompress, I say it sounds like an added stress. Traveling is stressful. Don’t deny it.

This brings me to my final point about the “wait for it” honeymooners. Why not celebrate your one year anniversary on the honeymoon you dreamed about together? Or, celebrate 6 months of being legally a couple! Doesn’t that seem like a blast? You will feel so euphoric immediately following the wedding, you won’t even need a honeymoon until later.

I am certain that answers the question of “When should we go on a honeymoon?” Do it later. Or don’t. It is totally up to you and your person. If it were me though, I’d wait. 😉

Destination Wedding Series: Bridal Showers

I have been so eager to write a post about bridal showers. I absolutely adore bridal showers and think it is a fun time for pre-wedding celebrations. Every guest is excited about the big day, the bride is the center of attention, and she is showered with love one last time before taking a new name. Sounds perfect to me!

We can now talk a little about bridal shower etiquette and tips for brides who love to stay involved (like me)! For the record, I have learned all of my tips from researching on other blogs, personal experience, and testimonies of friends who have been through the process. Every person is entitled to his or her own opinion, I just ask that we all keep an open mind and be willing to at least HEAR the advice. No one says you have to do things according to the book.

  1. Who throws the shower? Typically, either the MOH or the bridesmaids throw the party. For me, my bridesmaids are taking the reigns. Some are more experienced than others and navigating, but every person will be involved in some way. I have been to showers where just the MOH takes care of business and everything was fantastic. The option is up to your leading ladies!bridesmaid
  2. Who pays for what? This one is a sensitive topic. Money is in general, though, so it makes sense. I have always read that the costs are split amongst the hosts of the party. Others are more than welcome to chip in of course, but in most cases, the bridesmaids handle it. Bridesmaids: Make a budget and stick to it!
  3. Who should be invited? I’d leave this up to the bride. Tell her to create a list and share it with the bridesmaid who has chosen to take charge. Are you the bride? Okay, every female guest invited to your wedding is not expected to be invited to the bridal shower. Generally, guests can include close friends and family members. I have approximately 50 guests on my list. However, I do not expect them all to attend. Also, I have a large family! If someone did not receive an invite to the wedding… they should NOT be invited.
  4. When should the party be held? At least two-three months before the big day!
  5. When should we send invitations to the bridal shower? Six-eight weeks before the event. This amount of time allows people ample opportunity to respond and it is late enough for every person to remember the date! Sending invites too soon or too late is a faux pas!te
  6. Should we share the couple’s registry information? Of course! For guests who are capable, having the registry makes it easier so they do not have to search.
  7. Does the bride open gifts at the party? Yes. Be sure to have a gift-opening plan. This can be a lengthy process, so the more prepared the bridesmaids are, the better. Have a person handing out the gifts, another throwing away wrapping, someone taking photos, and a person recording which gift came from which guest. If the bride wants to participate in the ribbon bouquet tradition, have a bridesmaids in charge of creating the bouquet out of the discarded ribbons.
  8. Should the bridal shower have a theme? That is entirely up to the bride and hosts. Ask the bride what type of shower she would like. She may want a brunch, cocktail party, dinner, etc. Remember to plan accordingly, though!

Okay Brides! I only have a few tips for those of you who love to stay involved.

  1. Make a Bridal Shower Pinterest board. This will give your bridesmaids an idea of what decor you like, approved themes, and even tips for your bridesmaids.
  2. Have a guest list prepared for them. They are working hard to honor you with a party, so if you want to be involved, be as helpful as you can!
  3. Not sure how to be helpful other than with the guest list? Ask your maids what you can do! If they say nothing, use the free time to check other items of your wedding to do list. Even better… relax! Your big day is coming up and you should not be stressed!

The bridal shower is a beautiful time to honor the bride and celebrate a joyous occasion. Follow etiquette, pin to your Pinterest board, and have a fabulous time!

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